If they cut his bulletin slot much shorter, Giles would barely get three words in.
Water is life.
That was three words, but it didn’t really give you much of a message. It was more of a slogan than anything.
Brush your teeth dry. That was four words. He could get that in if he shortened the your and stuck it to the start of teeth like y’teeth. Even then, it didn’t really mean anything. It sounded like he was telling them to brush their teeth so hard they became dry, not to brush their teeth without water.
“Okay Giles, you ready?’ the producer said.
They were in a room with lumpy padding on the walls and a microphone hanging from the ceiling. It was his turn to make his announcement to the country. Next up we’ve got Giles the water guy here to depress us with the water news, then the sport. They hadn’t cut the sport bulletin time slot.
‘Yes, I guess so.’ Giles shuffled his papers.
The sound engineer scowled on the other side of his glass wall. He hated it when Giles moved his papers.
Giles didn’t really care what the sound engineer thought. Two weeks ago Giles had come out of a cubicle in the men’s toilets to see that same sound engineer stood at the sink with the tap running, cupping water and splashing it over his face.
People were idiots. They would listen to Giles on the audio bulletins and nod along at how awful the situation was, then they would go and do things like that.
The producer waved the signal that they were live on air and then looked at her phone. A light in the control room bathed the sound engineer in red.
He would sit in that lumpy room shuffling his papers because why shouldn’t he? That sound engineer obviously didn’t listen to a word Giles said so why should he care about a bit of paper flutter on the airwaves.
And now to water news with Giles the water guy with his fluttery papers and his depressing statistics but don’t worry because next is the sport and your favourite team have done something you’re actually interested in.
The producer looked up from her phone because Giles hadn’t said anything yet. She waved her hand around to signal get on with it the entire country is waiting.
Giles still didn’t say anything. He just shuffled his papers some more then cleared his throat. His seat was one of those that clicked when you sat down or moved slightly. The sound engineer hated that too so Giles nestled in and the seat clicked under his weight.
Now the producer and the sound engineer were giving eachother concerned glances. Their foreheads truncated at the swelling audacity of the water news guy who was refusing to read the water news.
“Giles?!” The producer broke the radio silence and waved again. Thats all she ever seemed to do – wave her arms about.
Ten seconds were left before the sport news started. It was more than enough for Giles to get his water news in. He didn’t even need three words. He could cut it down to two.
“We’re fucked,” Giles grumbled into the microphone.